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5Ms for Adjustment

Updated: Apr 15

The Greek Philosopher - Heraclitus said that "Change is the only constant". It is common that we face changes in our life circumstances. Learning to adjust and adapt to new environments and states of life seems like the norm for some. However, at Soulmatics, we know that it is always unsettling for the nervous system having to cope with changes all the time. Especially amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are force to adapt to new ways of doing things in brief periods of time.


In this entry, we are going to share "5Ms" which can aid us in adjusting to changes in our everyday lives.


Mindset

Adapting a 'Growth Mindset' is often helpful in adapting to changes and adversities in life. However, what is the 'Growth Mindset'? In her research, Professor Carol Dweck mentioned that mindset can impact our interpersonal relationships, our professional and personal successes and failures as well as our happiness towards life. But what is the difference between the 'growth mindset' and 'fixed mindset'?

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is simply being aware of your thoughts, feelings and sensations non-judgementally at the present moment. Learning to be aware how changes has affected you in a non-judgemental manner is helpful. Gently allow yourself to feel and be aware of emotions which you have about the circumstances you are in. Be it sadness, disappointment, anger, fear, exhaustion, etc, the list goes on. Part of being mindful is learning about "letting go". I have included a brief video by the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction programme, Jon Kabat-Zinn to explain the concept of 'letting go'


"Me-time"

Many times we are flustered in times of changes and adjustment. We may respond with "knee-jerk" reactions or "escape" from reality itself by indulging in plain mindless activities (i.e: binge eating, binge watching, etc). Sometimes we may rush through the period of adapting and forgot to care for ourselves.


Self-compassion, self-gentleness and self-care are such unspoken terms in this age of "perfectionism". Perhaps some of us are so use to giving and forgot to receive the rest our bodies need. We may have forgotten how to relax in times of having to cope with changes and adjustment.


Learning to set aside time for yourself may sound a little strange and difficult initially. However, that does not mean it is impossible. List some of the activities that you think you enjoy doing alone. It could be exercising, praying, baking, walking your dog, journaling, painting, so on and so forth; the list is never ending. Finding sometime to learn a new skill can be a form of "me-time" too. Most importantly, embody those moments you spent alone.


Manage expectations

In times of changes, it is normal that we have certain plans in place. Nonetheless, there would be days we delay those plans or are not able to accomplish them. It is important that we learn to manage our expectations in such circumstances. Remaining open to what may happen and managing our expectations with ourselves and the people around us can help us in such times. Knowing that it is OK to have micro changes amidst the bigger adjustment you are going through, take time to come to acceptance of the shortcomings you see in yourself and the people around you.


Mature Potential

We learn to live out our mature potential when we can practise the above "M"s. I would like to end off this blog with a quote from the famous Holocaust survivor and neurologist, Viktor E. Frankl:


About the writer

Dominica is a certified TRE provider and also a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. She is a counsellor by profession. She enjoys integrating body-oriented approaches in the counselling process to help those who come to her to have a more holistic and experiential process. In her free time, she enjoys reading and playing with her pet dogs - Kopi & Xiaobai.

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